is that one minute everything is fine. most minutes everything is fine. there are things to be done and because the world doesn’t stop, you have to keep doing those things. but in the silent moments of the morning, or the seconds just as you’re coming home and quietly unlocking your door, you’re acutely aware that nothing in your life will ever be the same again and that no matter how many times you wish you could rewind and back up, you just can’t. the problem with loss is that one minute you’re fine and the next you’re on double shift at work, crying in the bathroom because the realization that your world has fallen apart just punched you in the face.
i wouldn’t have left. i would’ve stayed right here to say goodbye. maybe if i’d stayed, everything would’ve been okay.
sometimes all i really need is to see this face sleeping next to me.
i really miss you tonight, boud.